View Me Lord
by treehugger195
Summary: Stephen never visited his parent's graves, he was always too scared of the memories. Bad summary....;)


Hey ya'll!! First of all, let me say that this piece is an angsty one, of course, but may not be correct in my info. So this story probably doesn't go along with the book. I don't know much about Stephen's parents, but from what I do know, they are dead. As to anything else, I have no clue....

Second of all, this story came from a picture that I had in my mind. I am not sure where it came from though. I saw a funeral in the autumn with all the beautiful leaves circling over the people and coffins. I also saw a picture of Stephen all bundled up walking towards these two graves with white flowers in his hands and a tear in his eye. Bizzare eh? Maybe i am crazy or summat, but it sure was a strong picture painted in my mind and as I am not the best artist in the world, I had to write a story depicting it instead.

Friendship piece!

ENJOY!!!

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The chilly air turned Stephen's nose pink and numb, making him look like a lost child, wrapped in his heavy, wool jacket. This place was colder than it had ever been before. His shuffled footsteps along the frozen-glazed grass made everything so surreal. This wasn't the place he remembered, this place was a crystallized, stone garden, not the place where his parents lay in their silent slumber.

The flowers in his hand seem to be stunned, as they refused to move. Stephen breathes upon them, his breath like steam, but only makes frozen dew upon the soft petals.

He searches among the graves. They are somewhere out here, that is for sure. He feels their presence as he grows closer to their underground bed, his parents must know that he is coming.

Stephen looks around anxiously, like a scared child. Maybe he should have let Jack come, but no he had said 'there are some things that I have to face by myself, and this is one of them. This has been the first time since his parents were buried that he has visited their graves. He has always been too scared to as the memory of the funeral seeps into his mind.

_The leaves whirled around the newly dug graves as the new occupants were about to be lowered into the ground. Stephen stood still, the trace of tears gleaming in the autumn sun of Ireland. The priest silently closed his bible and bowed his head. "May God have mercy on their souls," he solemnly bid and the caskets were slowly lifted._

_Stephen's lip quivered. His parents, the people who had loved him the most, were with God now, he knew, but it was painful to know that he was going to be alone. He watched, his eyes brimming with tears, as both the caskets were laid in their final resting places. He closed his eyes and let one tear escape at the sound of shovels and thump of dirt upon wood. The sound sickened him; he could feel his stomach lurch with each shovelful of dirt that was poured over the side. He breathed, slowly in and out, trying not to shudder._

_A warm hand landed on his slender shoulder. Stephen looked up and stared into the eyes of the man who was supposed to take him away, the one that was called his godfather. Stephen knew that he was never going to see this place again, he was going to be shipped off to Catalan instead. The man squeezed his shoulder tenderly and whispered, "Esteban, do not cry so. They are in a better place, I promise." Stephen wiped a tear from his eye and nodded, silently ashamed for the pity that was shown towards him._

_Then, the shoveling stopped; the graves were now submerged in the Irish dirt. His godfather lowered his head for a moment and then squeezed Stephen's shoulder once more. "Come Esteban, we needn't stay any longer. Our ship will be leaving soon."_

_Stephen was turned around, but he still cast one last glimpse upon the newly, disturbed dirt. "I love you mom and dad."_

Stephen jerked out of his trance. He looked around with a new fear taking over at the sight that sent chills up his spine. The willow tree that was the tree that hung over his parent's graves like a cat would do to a bird stood a few feet in front of him. Now, though, the willow tree was still with icicle leaves and snowflake nests placed on the thin branches. Stephen sighed and looked behind him, as though to gain encouragement by someone who was not there. He stepped forward and looked upon the two head stones. They were aged and slightly weathered, which was only to be expected.

Stephen stared a while longer before he placed the flowers on the graves. He placed his now freed hands on the two headstones. At first he felt nothing, but then a climbing wave of emotion overtook him.

He shook with sobs and sniffed as quietly as he could.

"Oh God," he shuddered, "I am so sorry that I didn't come earlier. I'm sorry, so sorry..." His words just sort of blended together and became nothing more than sobs again.

This pain was new to him, something that he had never felt before. It hit him hard, as though he hadn't the slightest clue that his parents were dead. He buried his wind-chilled face into his numb hands and let it all out. A cry escaped his lips and he just shut down.  
  
"Stephen? Stephen!" a familiar voice cried, "Where are you?"  
  
Stephen turned to see Jack racing through the graveyard, looking for him. Stephen wiped his eyes and stood. "Here I am Jack," his voice cracked.  
  
Jack ran over to his friend and saw the trail of tears down his cheeks. "Oh Stephen," he muttered and pulled him into a hug. "I know that this must be hard for you. I heard your cry from the carriage; I had to see if you were alright."  
  
Stephen buried his head into the captain's warm coat and shuddered.  
  
"Joy, I'm sorry that this is so hard for you," Jack said, still with a firm, loving grip around the doctor, "We don't have to stay any longer, we could leave if you like."  
  
Stephen looked at Jack and wiped his eyes once more. "I am sorry that you have to see me like this. I am ashamed."  
  
"You needn't be. Any other man would be the same way, I am sure."

Stephen sighed and looked back at the graves. "Jack I just didn't realize how hard this would hit me."

Jack gave a sympathetic smile. "I know. You haven't been here since you were smaller. Repressed memories from that day must have made their way through to you."

There was a bout of pensive silence between the two friends that was broken when Stephen began to speak. "Thank you, Jack. Thank you for being understanding."

"No worries soul," Jack smiled.

Stephen's gaze landed upon the graves of his parents once more and turned to his friend. "I am ready to go. I believe that my parents wouldn't want to stay any longer and see me so saddened."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Stephen answered reflectively. "I have faced my fear and can now live without such a sorrow bearing on my soul."

The two turned away and began their walk towards their carriage. Stephen's hardest journey was now over.

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Review if you like it, review if you don't like it. Either way it would be nice! ;)


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